Recently I allowed myself the experience of 4 days away from the internet and my business in the form of a personal retreat.
I spent 6 hours every day dedicated to my other love (playing handpan)with my teacher, and receiving acupuncture, Thai Massage, walks in nature, and 3 organic home cooked (and insanely delicious!) meals a day.
During that time I reflected on a lot of things, and one of them was my relationship with money.
Just six years ago credit card companies were harassing my sister in law, parents, and my aunt – regularly calling them to attempt to collect what I owed them through social embarrassment.
Five years ago I was so broke I couldn’t turn my heat back on in winter and depended on other people to eat for several weeks. I had my first “online job” writing articles for $4 each – I thought I could make $20 an hour this way but I ended up making about $4 an hour (I write kind of slow I guess!)
Until just a few years ago I had over $20,000 in PERSONAL debt – meaning to FRIENDS who helped finance my college and massage school studies. And that doesn’t even touch what I ran up in credit cards and other forms of debt.
Today at 36 years old I have absolutely NO DEBT, and have a rocking business that I love waking up to every single morning.
I don’t struggle financially and I have helped people generate millions of dollars (and have tons of impact) on the internet. I don’t say no to myself when I want to buy something, but I’m not overly materialistic either. I have a balanced relationship with money – using it as a tool of self-expression, self-care and service.
It certainly wasn’t always that way.
I used to experience money as a sort of evil overlord – like money itself was destroying the rainforests, poisoning the oceans, creating war and poverty, disease, illness, and death.
That’s really how I felt.
And as a result, my finances were a complete disaster, I didn’t care at all – in fact I had a sort of rebellious pride about being broke, struggling, and “bucking the system” through refusing to pay off my debt.
I had a strong spiritual practice and I loved God (and still do) but I couldn’t see or experience money as a part of any of that.
One day I had my annual phone call with one of my spiritual teachers and she said “If you don’t experience wealth in this lifetime, you are holding your soul back a grade in school. You need to learn business skills and stop trading dollars for hours.”
I was horrified, but this woman never once steered me wrong or gave me bad advice so after a few months of resistance I opened my mind to the possibility of becoming an entrepreneur.
I dove into every training I could about online marketing and I saw how I could truly serve and help people through this modality. I started making money and as I made more money, my self care increased. As my self care increased, my mental and emotional health increased. I had more self confidence and less stress. I had more time to focus on spiritual, social and political interests and causes.
I started giving A LOT of money to causes I believed in. I was able to impact hundreds of lives through giving and I still had so much to take care of me and those around me that I loved. In fact the more I gave, the more I received, and the more I received the more I gave. And it became a spiritual practice.
I saw how the internet marketing and entrepreneurial community had an unprecedented opportunity to influence massive positive change on this planet through the 21st century tools of digital culture and marketing.
I became totally lit up about serving God THROUGH business, and not losing sight of that when I became successful. And I haven’t.
And I won’t.
So many of my friends and peers have the same money wound I had. They feel abandoned or betrayed by the sterility of the “old money paradigm,” and hurt by the damage that those who choose to abuse their wealth and power have created.
If that’s you, I can totally relate. I challenge you to challenge yourself and your beliefs around your own money wounding.
Becoming wealthy CAN BE a service, if you are called to it.
And if you are called to it, the path will become clear.
If you are interested in hearing more about this topic leave me a comment below… I have a lot more to say about it! But I only want to provide content that helps and inspires you!
So let me know!
Lots of LOVE,